I am awestruck. I am afraid that words are going to fail me as I begin to share with you the passion that the Lord has created in my heart for His precious gospel. For the last 3 months or so the Lord has been causing the truth of the gospel to go really deep in my heart. The question has been running through my head; "Do you really belive the gospel, Mike?" Do I believe the gospel enough to live it? Do I believe the gospel enough to not defend myself? Do I believe the gospel enough to forsake all in my pursuit of Christ? Do I believe the gospel enough to run to Christ in the midst of my sin? Do I believe the gospel enough to stand before a group of people and preach grace boldly? Do I believe the gospel enough to preach it in such a way that you are left thinking, "well then, can't I just keep sinning"? Do I believe the gospel enough to trust and rely on grace rather than my penance and/or good works to make me acceptable to God? Do I believe the gospel enough to tithe, even when our bank account dwindles? Do I believe the gospel enough to trust God in the birth of our son? Do I believe the gospel enough to stop trying to please people and instead please the Lord? Do I believe the gospel enough to say what I mean and mean what I say? Do I believe the gospel enough to not hide behind a mask? Do I believe the gospel enough to not always have to know the answer? Do I believe the gospel enough to entrust to God's sovereign grace the lives of the sheep he has entrusted me with? DO I BELIEVE THE GOSPEL!
Sadly, quite often I do not. But I am growing. Do I believe the gospel enough to know that even if I do not believe the gospel enough it still rings true? And to that I think I can say yes. I believe the gospel, Lord help me to believe the gospel more!
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In 1832, after reading the life of Jonathan Edwards, Robert Murray McCheyne was deeply humbled. He related this experience in his diary: "How feeble my spark of Christianity appears beside such a sun! But even his was a borrowed light, and the same source is still open to enlighten me."